When someone cheats, we almost immediately assume that there’s been a fight or that the love has faded and the whole thing is just not working anymore. This may not make sense, but truth be told, that’s not always the case—there are those who are in an almost-perfect relationship yet still chose to go astray.
Why People in Happy Relationships Cheat on Their Partner
People have different definitions of happiness. What may look like a perfect picture to us could be a shabby, forgettable snap to some. And romantic relationships are no exception. A man and a woman living together, both have stable jobs, they have their own home, their own car, basically everything a couple could ask for. Yet he still finds himself sleeping with another woman or she seeing another man.
So you ask, what went wrong?
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Nothing, actually. Not all cases of cheating and infidelity are brought about by a troubled marriage or a troubled partner. Sometimes, it’s because the person is seeking something they never found in the current life they have with their partner. It’s neither rejection, sexlessness, nor neglect; it’s that feeling of being incomplete and the sudden want to find that lost part of yourself, that urge to explore life the way you never did. This is what drives some people to stray.
Speaking to Washington Post, author and relationship expert Esther Perel talked about the real reason why people in happy relationships cheat.
Perel said, “It may have nothing to do with their relationship. People come in and tell me, ‘I love my partner, and I’m having an affair.’
“Not all affairs, as much as we would like to think of it like that, are symptoms of troubled marriages. And neither are they symptoms of troubled people. They are expressions of people seeking something.”
Some people cheat not because their partner or their relationship is making them unhappy, it could be because they’re not happy with themselves. And in their attempt to fill that void, they wind up building an intimate connection with someone outside the relationship.
It’s also worth mentioning that cheating even when in a good relationship is not only a form of self-seeking. There are other reasons why people in happy relationships cheat that have nothing to do with completing their seemingly incomplete life. Sometimes, the cheat is just bored and they want to do something exciting. For some, they cheat because they had an opportunity to.
Nonetheless, it’s not a good setup. In your attempt to fix yourself, you might end up destroying what you currently have. It is important that you try to sort things out with your partner before the damage could get bigger. Sit down, have a conversation, talk about how things ended up the way they did. It can be difficult, but if you don’t want to lose the life you have with the one you truly love, it’s your best option.
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