Saving Love from Lies: Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Affair can happen in any relationship. Just because you think your relationship is different from your neighbors’ who recently got divorced does not mean it will never crash.

One of the major dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships is infidelity. Although it does not always end in divorce or breakup, a bond tainted by unfaithfulness will always face consequent issues that will, for a long time, test a couple’s trust and love for each other.

We all want to believe we won’t go that way, but cases of infidelity happen more often than we think. In fact, in a third of marriages, one or both partners admit to cheating. We wan’t to give ourselves a reason to believe that we did not see it coming, that cheating is like a force majeure that is unforeseeable. But truth be told, infidelity is something not only can we see coming, but it’s a problem we can actually prevent.

Affair-proofing your marriage takes a lot of work, but it’s not impossible. Here’s are ways to affair-proof your marriage you might want to apply in your current relationship.

5 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

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1. Do not refuel an old flame

If you don’t want to ruin the future of your current relationship, then learn to completely let go of the past. Life can get lonely, that is true, and sometimes, we just want to have a little fun by going on night-outs or going online. But if these little meet-ups and online exchanges happen to lead you back to the person who once made your heart skip a beat, things can get complicated. Temptations arise and they become hard to fight. So learn to say no.

The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life author and relationship expert Dr. Gail Saltz said, “It’s just too slippery a slope, to go from ‘but we are still friends!’ to ‘I feel that old attraction again.’ If you or your partner want to maintain friendships with an ex great, but do it together. Go out with spouses or go out as a group—the likeliness for flirting or being too cozy will be diminished because you have other observers.”

2. Have regular sex

One of the main reasons people stray and probably one of the most common reasons people get divorced is because they’re stuck in a sexless relationship, what with the demands of marriage and parenthood. But it can’t be denied, we all have needs that have to be met. If we can’t get what we want in the relationship we’re in, we tend to go and have it met someplace else and with someone new. So as much as possible, make it a priority. You can discuss it at night under the sheets. Know that frequent sexual activities will strengthen not just physical attraction but also emotional connection with your partner.

3. Go on dates

Reignite the fire, and to do that, go on dates again like you used to. Or if you still do, never stop. You don’t have to do it every day, weekend candlelight dinners would suffice. No need to overspend on this (that will only lead to conflicts, to be honest). You can prepare little surprises for your spouse instead, like flowers, maybe? Or a song. If you’re not a fan of dates, you can adopt new hobbies together.

4. Initiate affection

Make them feel loved, it’s the simplest yet one of the best ways to affair-proof your marriage. Be more romantic toward your husband or wife. You don’t have to say I love you all the time, but you certainly have to shower them with more hugs and kisses. One of the secrets of long-term love is physical affection, so spend a good amount of time cuddling. If you’re the cheesy romantic type, write them a letter. There’s nothing your partner won’t appreciate more than a handwritten confession of love.

5. Take the time to talk

Deep conversations are great, but so are small talks. Take the time to sit down and just discuss random stuff, it could be about your kid’s future or to simple things like when and where you want the next picnic to be. The key to having a strong and really healthy relationship is mutual trust and good communication. It won’t hurt to start your morning asking your spouse how they plan to spend the next twenty-four hours or end the day inquiring about how work was.

With how draining life can be, it pays to invite your partner to small talks. Share your thoughts and listen to theirs too. Not only will you rid yourself of the thoughts that are weighing you down, you will also get to build even stronger emotional bond with your spouse.

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Amanda Thomas

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