Warning Signs You Are Destroying Your Marriage and How to Fix Them

Nobody enters a marriage expecting it to collapse. If anything, you want it to last, you want to live a happy life and enjoy wedded bliss for as long as you can. Sadly, though, couples go through trials—and so will you.

By that time, you’ll probably consider divorcing your spouse. Imperfect as it seems, marriage is worth saving every time, and that’s what you should do. It’s only a matter of figuring out where things could go wrong or what you did wrong and fixing them.

10 Danger Signs You Are Destroying Your Marriage

Relationships don’t get broken pronto the instant you argue or get jealous; it’s usually because of disagreements and seemingly trivial misunderstandings that have been building up. As Dr. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Marriage Work, explained, “The couples that don’t repair those hurts end up with festering wounds that grow bigger day by day, the month, and the year until they finally break the couple apart. Repair is absolutely crucial in any kind of relationship, particularly intimate relationships.”
Hence, if you want to fix your marriage, then “be the change you wish to see in your relationship.” To do that, identify your shortcomings as a partner and find a way to correct them.

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Here are common danger signs you are destroying your marriage:

1. You have an addiction.

Addiction is a chronic disease, and one of its casualties is the relationship. You might not have realized it, but having an addiction is one of the signs you are destroying your marriage. Your deadly habits will disappoint and soon tire your spouse after numerous requests to stop. If this is the case for you, seek professional help before your addiction hurts your marriage.

2. You take your partner for granted.

Among the deeds and signs you are destroying your marriage, underappreciating your partner is the worst you can do. It’s also one of the most common reasons why married people cheat. If you don’t want that for your relationship, then acknowledge the efforts of your partner. It only takes a second to say thank you.

3. Your sex life is boring.

A sexless relationship is a silent marriage killer; it introduces the unsatisfied spouse to possibilities of infidelity, separation, and divorce. Don’t let that happen. If this has been going on in your marriage, find a way to spice up your sex life. You need it, especially when the bond between you and your partner is waning.

4. You are not willing to help.

One of the danger signs you are destroying your marriage is the unwillingness to help, whether it be with chores at home, utility bills to pay, or fetching the kids from school. Once you’re married, the responsibilities are always shared, so you must do your part.

5. You tell everything to your family.

You fight, you make up, and then you forget about it—but not your family. While confiding marital problems to your family may seem fine, it won’t do any good for your relationship, especially when they start to hold grudges against your partner. All they need to know is that you’re happy unless you’re not.

6. You are being unfaithful.

You may say you’re not cheating, but there are other ways you are being unfaithful to your spouse—without you realizing it. Every time you lie to your partner, confide your problems to someone outside the relationship and hide the fact you are married, you are putting your marriage in danger. Even the innocent message you sent to the officemate you find attractive already constitutes unfaithfulness. Be very careful because what may seem harmless might just cause the greatest wounds in your relationship.

7. You don’t allot time for your partner.

You’re constantly out of town for work, and when you’re home, you rush to turn the television on for your favorite show. Or you might have spent most of your time with the kids that you simply don’t have time for your other half. That’s the danger right there! In the order of your priorities, your partner must come first, not the last.

8. You always or never argue.

Arguments can be really helpful to resolve issues between you and your partner, but always remember to strike a balance. Always avoid ugly arguments, which you can do by maintaining a calm tone, listening intently, and knowing when to surrender. And if you must argue, don’t do it too often. Most importantly, don’t create conflicts just for the sake of having something to talk about.

9. You are constantly jealous.

Jealousy is not bad, that only means you’re giving importance to your relationship. However, you are destroying your marriage if you let your jealousy consume you that you start to be suspicious toward your partner for no apparent reason. Deal with your suspicions and jealousy the right way—before it destroys your marriage.

10. You never compromise.

Marriage is the union of two people, but it doesn’t literally and figuratively make you one. Your attitude, character, opinion, and preference are still different, which is why you must compromise at one point. Your relationship is never worth losing to your ego. So be open to respecting and celebrating what makes each of you unique, and try to meet halfway.
If your marriage is on the brink of divorce, you must not let it go without fighting for it.

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