If David H. Petraeus couldn’t keep his affair secret even as director of the Central Intelligence Agency, how can the average cheater not mess up? Pretty much everyone is bound to slip up somewhere down the line. And in this day and age, it’s likely to be a technological slipup. Although technology has made infidelity easier to pull off, computers, tablets, and smartphones also absorb adulterous evidence like a sponge, making it easier to catch a cheating spouse. Once suspicions are aroused, tech can offer many clues about a potential dalliance.
Use Technology to Catch a Cheating Spouse
First off, is it just you or is your spouse reasonably arousing your suspicions? As a spouse, you will notice behavioral changes. Is he or she making excuses to stay away from you? Does the person go to bed too early, or stay up too late just to get on a late night call? Here are more signs to look out for.
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Second, understand what advantages your spouse is exploiting. What does he or she do to cover up any trace, making it so difficult for you to prove anything and make your suspicions seem baseless? Figuring this out will help you decide what ways to use. Is the person clearing all thread of text messages, clearing the browsing history, lying about whereabouts and returning home late, or talking to a “colleague” at odd hours and for too long?
Third, accessing your partner’s emails or spying on them is potentially illegal, depending on the nature of your activity and the laws in your state. Be sure to fully understand how your state treats electronic surveillance and wiretapping (listening in on conversations, recorded in person or over the phone) before embarking on this type of activity. Courts differ in their interpretation about a spouse’s “reasonable expectation of privacy,” so some jurisdictions might be stricter about protecting against spousal spying than others.
With these in mind, here are gifts from technology to aid you in your investigation to catch a cheating spouse.
Spy apps are available for you to easily track someone’s activity. These apps could have legitimate purposes like locating a stolen phone or tracking your own children for security reasons. But more often than not, they are used to catch a cheating spouse red-handed.
All you have to do is install the spy app on the target phone, then activate it using a license code. Once that’s done, you’ll be able to log in to the online portal to access information collected from the target phone such as messages (texts and messages from various other messaging apps), phone calls, browsing history, and GPS location. Other monitoring apps also have many advanced features including social media and key logger monitoring. They can even fetch texts and iMessages remotely. You can also reply on behalf of the other user and block the sites you do not want them to visit again. You can save screenshots, images, and other files from the target’s phone as well, automatically transferring them to your device. Some apps even allow you to record calls, even if they get deleted.
Product reviews from real people have shown time and again that GPS trackers have caught cheaters in the act. But before you do this, monitoring a spouse without his or her awareness raises ethical issues. It is important to use a GPS device in a way that is consistent with the law in the jurisdiction you reside.
There are many different kinds of GPS trackers, but they all perform the same basic function. The difference from there is what and how many features you need. Some GPS trackers simply send texts to your phone. Some of the top-end models provide you with real-time updates and audio monitoring.
There are long-running voice-activated digital recording devices available for capturing incriminating audio to catch a cheating spouse. These gadgets actually have harmless purposes like taking audio notes or conducting interviews. But like GPS trackers, betrayed spouses use them for their snooping applications. And they aren’t just available in specialty shops. You can pick these things up at major retailers like Best Buy and Amazon and hide them in personal belongings your partner travels with.
Hidden cameras are also always a huge help. You can stash them away in common everyday items like alarm clocks.
Keylogger programs record all the typing you do so that someone else can check up on your online activity on a computer. Through these programs, you can track anyone’s computer usage. This will also likely tell you what their login IDs and passwords are, which can help you access your partner’s email or other accounts. These types of programs range in quality. Some are available for free download, such as Free Keylogger Pro. Others come in with paid services, such as All in One Keylogger, the Best Keylogger, or Total Spy.
The most dangerous habit for cheaters is to send photos and videos. Media may spice things up, but they are vivid evidence of an affair. If betrayed spouses save or download copies, they can such materials as evidence in divorce proceedings.
Most people configure their cell phones to automatically upload photos to their Photo Stream and other similar photo monitoring apps. Even if your spouse deletes their friend’s topless photos, it might still be somewhere in the cloud. After all, iPhone users know that it is the best way to manage their photos. You can bet your spouse uses it if they use an iPhone. Make sure that you check the iCloud account if you know the user ID and password.
To keep these images and video covert, cheaters may have a special cloud service. For example, the Keepsafe Photo Vault is designed to both store these media files and prevent others from accessing them. Many customers use Keepsafe for work or personal reasons, but if you notice that your spouse has a Keepsafe account and you can’t figure out why, you may be onto something.
Someone with physical access to your computer could use software to discover passwords. But you may not have to go through the trouble of using a software to catch a cheating spouse. Perhaps the easiest way to catch a cheating spouse is when cheaters themselves let the computer, software applications, or various websites save their usernames and passwords so that they don’t have to type in their login information.
Many websites allow you to select “Remember Me” to save your information. And password management software is also readily available to help you keep track of multiple logins or to log you in to things with only a single master password, for those of us who just don’t have the facility to remember a gazillion usernames and passwords.
Like the browser history, most mobile phones keep a history of recent calls. If you know your spouse’s password, it only takes a moment to check the device for dialed numbers and possibly names if you have your paramour’s contact information stored. The same goes for text messages.
And even those who are crafty enough to cover their tracks can still be betrayed by the phone bill itself. Bills usually list the phone number, date, time, and duration of every call they’ve made each month.
This is akin to the predigital cheating discovery methods of finding a receipt in a pocket. Even if they opt not to receive paper statements, your spouse will still receive them via email. You may be able to peruse these online statements if you share accounts, or, as mentioned previously, through auto-logins. You may be surprised to find these digital receipts for products and services you’ve never heard of (hotels, restaurants, jewelry stores, etc.).
If they have a hidden account or two, say for an additional mobile line or a bank account opened just for dalliances, there will still likely be a digital trail that leads to and from them via their computer or phone. So they shouldn’t assume that their purchases or clandestine hotel stays will remain secret forever.
IM history logs
If your spouse is using a non-browser-based instant messaging client, such as the ICQ or AIM clients, or the host of multiple messaging service clients that are available, such as Trillian or Adium, the software might be storing log files of their personal exchanges on the computer, unless they specifically set it not to do so. You could find and read these detailed transcripts of their conversations. Setting the program to record history is also possible, even if they’ve set it not to do so through auto-logins.
These log files (along with emails and other private information) could also come up in searches done on desktop indexing applications. There are similar other applications out there. And the right combination of sex- and relationship-related keywords could bring the cheater’s activities to light.
Push notifications are a nightmare for unfaithful spouses. They may show snippets of conversation, such as texts, emails, and so on that could incriminate both parties, making it easy to catch a cheating spouse. Spotting a suspicious push notification or even noticing the sudden absence of them can be suggestive. Check their push notification settings and see which apps they ticked off.
Most of us today use social media as a place for sharing details of our personal lives. But Facebook and other such sites gather an incredible amount of information about you. Policies also change from time to time. Knowing what settings you need to check to keep things as private as possible can be complicated. We may think we have the privacy settings figured out. But one policy update or added feature could suddenly make activity more public than you hoped.
Even if you are on top of all the settings, your friends and apps can share information about you. Services like Facebook Places and apps like FourSquare and Google Latitude can give away your physical comings and goings. Friends might check you into places, tag photos of you, or make offhand comments online that could expose your lies. Facebook even made it easy to catch a cheating spouse by making all the data Facebook has on you downloadable!
There’s nothing better than old-fashioned honesty and loyalty in your marriage to prevent nasty outcomes like court hearings, post-infidelity stress disorder, and divorce proceedings. But if things don’t change despite all the chances you’ve given, then it probably means there is no point to being together. There are limits to tolerance and some things that you just shouldn’t tolerate in a marriage. The bottom line is, if you feel there is a lot of deception in your marriage, it may be better to end it.