How to Spot a Cheater Early On

Had we known that our partner was a cheater, we wouldn’t have jumped in and wasted our time only to have our heart broken. Do we need to be actually in a relationship with them to get to know them better and only fall apart when it’s too late? Or is it possible to actually know we’re slowly falling for a player? Here are signs to look out so you can spot a cheater early on.

How Does One Spot a Cheater?

Relationship History

A little bit of probing some time in the first few months and you will get some clues regarding their relationship history. Have they cheated on their previous partner(s)? Were they recently cheated on? Have they had long-term relationships? Are they now on a dating or hooking spree? It is worth noting how studies have already proven that cheaters will always be cheaters. On the other hand, if your date vehemently talks about being cheated on and seems bitter about it, he/she may be using you to get even. Be cautious.

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Phone Habits

Observe their phone habits. Are you only allowed to call at certain times of the day? Does it seem like your date spends a lot of time on their phone or is privately texting or talking when you aren’t around or your back is turned? Do they sometimes completely ignore you for an entire day and give you some lame excuse later on? Would they claim that they don’t need to show you their phone if you trusted them? Do they look rather uncomfortable when the phone rings? Without actually getting access to their world of secrets, these red flags already say they’re up to something.


“I’m tried,” “Babe I don’t feel good, I have a fever,” “Maybe next weekend, I’m busy.” If you just started seeing someone and they don’t answer your call but a day later they’d say they were “just chilling” as opposed to something specific like “helping my friend move,” they could be seeing someone else. A player’s stories don’t match up. They break dates without explanation or contradict themselves when talking about things that happened. There may be times in a day when they would completely disappear without a trace and not explain about them. If you notice inconsistencies in what your date says about how they spend their time and what is really going on, that can also be a sign.

Checking Others Out

. . . especially when you’re together. If you notice they have a wandering eye or if they’re flirting with other girls or guys in front of you, it could be a sign that they’ll keep doing this in the future. Even if they’re interested in you, when it comes to cheating, much of it is situational, resulting from a bad decision, one after another. Their focus should be 100% on you even in the beginning if they’re planning to take you seriously.

No Talks of the Future

This goes the same for couples in a long-term relationship. Do they change the subject, laugh it off, ignore you, get angry, or flat out run away whenever you try to bring up the future? If you answered yes, it’s probably time to face the reality that it’s because you both won’t have one. You may just be an easily replaceable lover or, worse, a spare. They may have other plans, they may be afraid of commitment, or their plans had already long belonged to someone else and you’re just expendable.

Impulsive Behavior

Researchers suggest that a lack of impulse control or self-control may contribute both to drug and alcohol issues and an increased likelihood of infidelity. Excessive alcohol consumption may also be linked to an increased likelihood of flirting with others. Cheating is obviously intentional. But since it can also be one of those things that just “happens in the moment,” it makes sense why a lack of impulse control might cause someone to cheat without even thinking, especially if they unexpectedly run into sexy situation with someone else.

Guilt Tripping

If you’ve been together for months now and they’re already abnormally possessive, be warned. Several real-life stories from around the world have shown that cheaters tend to become overly jealous. A common way cheaters try to make their guilty conscience rest is to project their guilt onto others. Even if you haven’t given your partner any reason to believe you’re cheating but they always accuse you of being unfaithful, it’s very possible your partner is the guilty party at hand. The cheater is very much aware of the hurt they’re secretly inflicting on their partner, so they constantly fear that you’d to do to them what they’re doing to you.

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