One of the worse things than being cheated on is not knowing whether it’s happening or not. Going back and forth, accusing your partner and then accusing yourself, thinking you’ve spotted it, but then thinking you’re just being crazy. It’s not just hurtful; it’s humiliating. The only way to know where you stand is to know the truth. But how can you tell if she’s cheating? Here are signs your girlfriend is cheating on you and some red flags.
12 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating
She’s always talking to someone.
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Is she on her phone more than she’s talking to you? Sure, we’re all guilty of being so overly engrossed in our digital lives that we neglect the present moment. The world is ruled by the internet now, so it is okay for your girlfriend to use her phone to socialize with her friends. However, if she is using it more than before or even during dinner dates, there is someone on the other side of the screen that’s more important than you. Who keeps her on the line even when you are together? Make sure you notice her face well while she is on the phone. Does she regularly smile after reading texts?
She reacts oddly when you bring someone’s name up.
Need some help flushing out whether she’s talking to someone new? One way to know if something is up is by gauging her reaction when a particular person comes up in conversation. Has a new coworker’s or classmate’s name come up once or twice recently? Has it come up a lot? If so, then this may be the mystery man you’re afraid of.
Try asking some basic questions about this person. If she blushes or gets defensive, it may be because she doesn’t want you to know anything about the man she’s seeing. Try to notice her tone or the look on her face when this person comes up. Does she look excited and giddy or just guilty? Does she try to change the subject or act unnaturally disinterested or dismissive after she’s spent time with that person? Alternatively, does she gush about that person, even compare him to you, every time you bring his name up?
She’s always at work.
The easiest way to brush off your inquiries into number 3 is to blame it all on work. According to infidelity statistics, 60% of affairs begin at work. This has all the sound of a reasonable excuse until you dig a little bit deeper. If she’s working so much, what is the project? Did she get a promotion? Why is the boss keeping her late? If she’s cheating, it’s likely the “work” excuse works well pretty quickly. If she doesn’t offer more information to make the situation a bit clearer (and more realistic), it’s far more likely that she’s keeping the story short on details to avoid falling into a lie you can check out.
Start getting suspicious if she reacts negatively when you want to know more.
She’s having fun without you.
If these past days she has less time for you because she always has a get together with her friends—those you have never met—then you have to check on this. It is possible she is only using it as an excuse to meet someone else. Or she could only be using their meet-ups as an alibi. It’s always nice to make new friends, but if she’s going out with a whole new group suddenly, it’s time to worry.
If she’s hanging out with a new crowd, it could be as simple as discovering a group that supports one of her interests. However, if she’s not particularly interested in introducing you to new friends or meeting up with old ones with you, something is probably up. You have to start wondering what’s going on in that separate life in the first place.
If you see your quality time slowly dwindling away, it absolutely points to her waning interest in the relationship, and it could mean she has transferred her affections elsewhere or is at least entertaining the thought. Independence is healthy, but a newfound focus on partying with her friends could mean she’s putting herself out on the dating pool again.
She suddenly goes missing.
Instead of texting in front of you, there are now just gaps where she’s not available, and she’s not offering up very convincing reasons. This is also perhaps just about as noticeable a sign as you can find because you feel the difference distinctly. It may be what made you start thinking about her cheating in the first place. She’s always busy now, and she won’t tell you what’s keeping her away.
She’s always looking for a fight.
When girls have found someone new and they want their present boyfriend out of their life—but do not know how to do it—they could resort to fault-finding as a defense mechanism. A woman who suddenly complains and makes a big deal of your usual habits may have an ulterior motive. Be alert: what she calls your “inadequacies” may just be the qualities her newfound lover has. They become impatient, and they find every excuse to get mad at their boyfriend. If she’s hiding something, the easiest thing to do is to start snapping, telling you that you are just being jealous and that she needs space.
Before judging her, though, just make sure to rule out her monthly visitor, pressure from work, or your fault.
She’s suddenly jealous.
This usually goes hand-in-hand. Not only is she accusing you of being jealous, now she’s constantly jealous as well. She may start harassing you about every woman who passes on the street, insisting you were staring. This will go double for any female friends or coworkers you have. In this case, they are all potential cheating girlfriends you are spending too much time with. She may go so far as to grab your phone out of your hands every time you get a message or at least insist on knowing what every message and email is about. Again, this goes double for any women you talk to.
Alternatively, she may get playful and try to tease you into admitting you find someone else attractive. But no matter how it manifests, this newly discovered jealousy is a very common symptom of someone trying to ease their own guilty conscience.
She’s changing her grooming habits.
It is normal for girls to want to look pretty. However, they exert more effort to be beautiful when they are inspired by someone. So if it is unusual for your girlfriend to make herself attractive even for your dates, and suddenly she cannot come out of the house without makeup, then you have to ask yourself what or who inspires her now—but do not judge her yet. Who knows she has only decided to improve herself—but this is one sign, right?
She’s more protective of her phone and computer.
Previously, she showed you her computer to point out a funny article or asked you to check her texts for her and always left her phone out in the open. Now she shuts her laptop any time you come into the room, never sends text messages in front of you, and even added a password to her phone or her computer. If she wasn’t previously private and has changed her tune, then she must not want you to see who she’s been chatting with.
She withdraws from sex.
While cheating men are more likely to have sex even more with their cheating partner, it’s less likely for a cheating woman to react the same way. If she’s getting some love somewhere else, then she may feel guilty, or just plain not interested in sleeping with you. If you previously had a pretty good sex routine going, and now she’s been “too tired” or “not feeling well” the last ten times you tried to make something happen, it could be a sign that she’s getting satisfied elsewhere.
Of course, her not wanting to have sex could just be a sign of her general dissatisfaction with the relationship, or just her unhappiness in her own life. Still, if she’s flirty and fun when she leaves the house and completely withdrawn with you, it’s a problem.
She’s suddenly more interested in your schedule.
You may feel that she really cares about you if she wants to be up to date with your schedule, but it could be her way of making sure you don’t catch her cheating. If she asks you to be clear about when you’re getting home and even texts you asking, she may not be eagerly waiting for your arrival. She could also be asking to make sure that you won’t be hanging out anywhere near the place where she’ll be having her romantic rendezvous.
She doesn’t answer calls when you’re around.
This clearly is a sign that your girlfriend is cheating on you. If she is loyal to you, she wouldn’t need to hide or ignore any conversations in front of you. Who is this that she wants to talk to only in private? On the other hand, if she does decide to answer the call, you’d see her secretly and hurriedly answering the phone or text message with a naughty smile or a nervous look on her face. She gets mad or defensive whenever you borrow her phone or ask who’s on the other line. Watch out for those late-night secret phone calls while you’re asleep.
So is she cheating? How many signs your girlfriend is cheating on you did you tick off the list? If you’ve ticked more than half, there’s a high chance she’s cheating on you. Regardless, whether you see her acting out in any of the above ways or not, the fact you are looking so closely suggests your relationship needs work.
Be smart. Understand the signs to know whether you should talk this out and work on it or break up.