Being in love and having the person that makes your heart skip a beat beside you is like having your best friend around all the time. Because you know, there’s more to relationships that the urge to be physically intimate with you partner. It’s more about being emotionally connected to someone and feeling that connection every time you talk or when you get to look them straight in the eye.
Having emotional intimacy is just as important, if not more, than physical closeness. An emotional connection eroded by time is a threat to your relationship. There might not be cheating and infidelity involved, but its impact is just as bad. It’s like you are slowly drifting apart, walking different paths. And the longer you let it linger, the more alarming it gets.
But how does one know there’s something they should be worried about?
Understanding the Gap: Signs You Are Emotionally Distant from Your Partner
Do you no longer ask each other for an advice? Or does everything feel less intimate than it was months ago? If yes, then you are definitely experiencing signs of emotional distance. Here are more of these signs you are emotionally distant from your partner.
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1. Deep conversations have become a thing of the past
You’re together, yes, but do you take the time to put your devices down, fix your partner a cup of coffee, and talk about things that actually matter? Your thoughts, your feelings, just how you are, in general. You see each other every day, but do you know how the past 24 hours of your lover’s day went? Do you even care to ask?
And when there’s something that bothers you, like a big decision you have to make, you keep it all to yourself instead of asking your partner for pieces of advice. Sometimes, you end up engaging in an emotional affair, confiding in someone else outside the relationship. And somehow, it works better for you that way.
Small talks are great, but deep conversations are what keep you in tune with your significant other. And if you lost that part of you that wants to share basically everything to and with your partner, perhaps it’s time to reassess your relationship.
2. There’s less sex
This might not be about words and feelings, but if there’s less and less desire for some physical intimacy, then perhaps there’s something wrong with the emotional side of things. Emotional connection is the foundation of the physical one, so if the former isn’t there, the urge for the latter diminishes. And this might lead to even more serious issue aka cheating. Sexless relationship is named one of the reasons why women cheat, and it’s easy to see what drove them to do it.
3. You’ve adopted hobbies that don’t include each other
Times change. We change and so do our interests. And one of the signs you are emotionally distant from your partner is that you just at some point stop doing the things you used to enjoy together and adopt new hobbies that don’t include them or are quite different from what they’re into.
Author and relationship coach J. L. Kirkwood said, “When a couple stops doing things together—and sharing in couples’ ‘things,’ you can see the emotional intimacy start to dissipate. For example, many couples find television shows they can enjoy together, and sometimes, one person takes one for the team, just to share the connection with their partner. . . . Once the couple stops paying attention to what their partner likes or enjoys, you can then check the emotional intimacy box as ‘checked out.'”
4. You become purposely critical
The loneliness and pain brought about by emotional distance will not only result in less deep talks and less interest in each other’s lives, it also has you looking for ways to hurt your partner. You notice their little mistakes and make a big deal out of it. You criticize them over the smallest things, like you call them lazy and irresponsible just because they missed a delivery at the front door. Instead of opening up about the small things your partner does that bother you, you call them out with words you wouldn’t even dare speak had you still had that emotional connection.
These and all other signs you are emotionally distant from your partner say only one thing: it’s failing. Not wanting to talk, not wanting to be physically intimate, all these will take a toll on your relationship. Eventually, it would feel like you’re living with a stranger, except you know their shirt size and their least favorite food. It marks the beginning of an end you used to be so afraid of. So if you notice even one of these signs, it’s high time you start working things out.
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