To Forgive or Forgo: Signs of True Remorse from a Cheating Spouse

Discovering an affair is the one thing people who loved and are in love fear. Imagine loving someone fully while they’re busy loving somebody else behind your back. While some affairs don’t involve feelings as deep as love and are just the cheater’s rather unconventional way of having fun, it still causes pain often too much to handle.

But not all cases of infidelity end in breakups. Some try to work things out. Some give their relationship another shot. And with that comes the beginning of the journey to learning how to forgive.

People say it’s way easier to forgive than to forget. But if you’ve been hurt enough, you start questioning your ability to accept apologies. Just because somebody is willing to kneel before you with their hands together muttering one apology after another does not make forgiving any less difficult. For you to accept any word they say, you feel the need to know just how true those I’m sorrys are.

But how exactly does one determine if an apology is sincere or not? How do you know if your significant other is truly remorseful after cheating on you?

Signs of True Remorse from a Cheating Spouse

Some apologies, just like promises of forever, are only half lie. If you want to know if your partner is sincerely repenting, here are some of the signs of true remorse from a cheating spouse you need to look for.

1. They learn to be completely honest

One of the signs of true remorse from a cheating spouse is working hard to create a more honest environment as a way to put things back where they belong and save the marriage after cheating. When you ask them questions, they answer it with not a single piece of truth withheld. It may be hard for you to hear what actually went down as it is for them to reveal everything, but true repentance can only be felt if they learn to commit to total honesty.

2. They repeatedly tell you that they’re sorry

If they really want you to accept their apology, they will ask for it more than once. And with the apologies comes the acknowledgment of the mistake. It does not stop at “sorry,” they will state why they are sorry too, like “I’m sorry for hurting you.” This is one of the signs of true remorse from a cheating spouse that will really tell you that they mean every word that comes out of their mouth.

3. They take full responsibility for the fallout

A mistake was committed, but more than just admitting that there was a bobble and it’s real, showing true remorse means taking responsibility for how things came to be. They won’t blame you, nor will they point the finger at the person they cheated on you with. The decision to cheat was something nobody forced them to make. The cheating spouse will acknowledge that and admit that what they did was something they shouldn’t have done.

4. They become an open book

When a person cheats, the first thing that’s broken is trust. Rebuilding that trust is not a walk in the park, but it’s not impossible either. There are many ways to rebuild trust in a relationship, but perhaps one of the first steps to reassembling the once-perfect puzzle is to start being an open book. They will talk about their daily life more, show the willingness to tackle subjects that got pushed behind, and discuss matters they used to be too scared to bring up. This can extend to their social media accounts too. Your spouse will give you their account passwords even without you asking for it, in their attempt to prove that they will never hide anything from you ever again.

5. They will be with you as you try to move on from what happened

Recovering from infidelity can drain the one cheated on mentally and emotionally. Nobody’s ever too strong for it. It can be hard, and if your spouse is really sorry for what they’ve done, they will help you get through it in any way they can. Being cheated on takes away your self-esteem, making you feel like you’re not good enough. A cheating spouse that shows true remorse will try their best to help you rebuild your self-esteem and reclaim your self-worth.

Love is a road that goes both ways, they say, so when the other half starts to walk a path too far and different from what their lover is taking, it could mark the end of what was once a blissful relationship. But if it was real, then it’s worth fighting for. It’s worth playing the martyr game for. But in a situation where forgiving means risking getting your heart broken again, one has to learn to spot whether or not the apology is real and sincere. Hope this list has helped you with that.

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Amanda Thomas

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