Catching a cheating spouse’s infidelity is actually easier than ever before in the history of mankind. Through text messages, emails, online credit card statements, and GPS trackers, a careless signs of cheating spouse is likely to leave an electronic trail detailing an affair that’s over a gigabyte long.
But what if you’re having trouble accessing the digital proof? Here are subtle signs of cheating spouse to look out for in case something feels off.
Subtle Signs of Cheating Spouse That Are Easy to Miss
An increase in attention and affection can actually signal a cheating spouse. “This is due to guilt and regret even if they don’t choose to stop the behavior,” Karina Wallace, relationship and betrayal trauma-focused life coach, says. This is typically hard to see as a possible indicator because most people don’t think their partner will increase affection if they’re cheating.
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Counselor and therapist Dr. Tracey Phillips also says that when your partner starts calling you multiple times a day “just to hear your voice” out of nowhere, that may not be as sweet or romantic as you think. “What they may actually be doing is checking your whereabouts to make sure you are not somewhere that you can catch them,” she says. Speaking with your partner if you have any suspicions may be difficult, but it’s the best way to clear the air.
Change in grooming habits
It’s really nice to see your spouse taking care of themselves, but there’s a certain point where it should become suspicious. If your partner suddenly is obsessed with having a smoking hot body but seems oddly disinterested in showing off for you, you need to pause for a moment. A good way to find out how likely it is that your partner is cheating is to see how they react if you ask to join the same gym they do.
Another signs of cheating spouse change to look out for is their showering habits. “If your partner comes home and jumps right into a long shower, they may be washing away any evidence of cheating,” Dr. Phillips says. She also says the same is true if they immediately wash their clothes when they get home. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be clean. But again, if it’s a major change in their behavior, it’s something to take notice.
Change in routine
Like clockwork, they used to come home, ask about dinner, and walk the dog. But suddenly, something (or someone) is messing with this ritual. They need a shower as soon as they walk in the door. They leave earlier for work and get home later than usual. Business trips are suddenly frequent, or your spouse is now working overtime often. Friday nights with friends now happen every week.
Something is quite possibly going on and this might be one of a signs of cheating spouse. Ask them what’s up with the changes at work or give them a surprise visit.
Change in preferences
Pay attention to any preference changes in general because this may lead to signs of cheating spouse, like their style, kinks, or the music they like to listen to. “They may play it off as just a preference, but if you have been together a long time and this is not normal, then it’s something to pay attention to,” Wallace says. More often than not, a newfound interest is a sign that they are switching up the company they keep. If all their friends are staying the same and your spouse won’t tell you who or what influenced them, where are they getting this from? Because this might not be the most clear indicator, talking to your spouse about what might have sparked these preference changes can give you a clearer picture of what’s going on with them.
When you notice that your partner suddenly stops complaining about a certain thing that used to always annoy them, it’s easy to feel relieved by the sudden change. However, that sudden change probably should have you asking questions about their current state of mind. They may not be putting as much importance on the relationship since they are focusing elsewhere.Hence, obviously a signs of cheating spouse. This isn’t necessarily always the case, but communicating openly will be the easiest way to find out.
No more invitations to parties or meetings
A cheating spouse compartmentalizes their life. They do this because they know that keeping everything unified might end up with them getting caught. As a result, one of the cheating spouse’s partners (or both) ends up under the rug when it comes to social events. In most cases, the cheating spouse will do this to their main partner because they assume that they have that person “locked down.”
If you find yourself literally having to beg your spouse to get invited to parties that they used to ask you to come to, then the chances of them cheating are sky high.
Frequent bouts of jealousy or accusations
While some might not categorize this among signs of cheating that everyone misses, people overlook this enough to warrant a place on this list. They always know you’re the friendly type and they always loved that about you, but recently, that innocent cordiality seems to antagonize them in ways it never did. Now that they’re having an affair, they know it’s not so far-fetched that you might too. This is their guilty conscience talking.
Sudden defensiveness for affairs in general
You sadly report the news that your best friend’s husband is cheating. Instead of sharing your dismay, they become defensive for the cheating spouse in your story. “Well, he hasn’t been happy in that marriage,” or “People have affairs. That’s life.” Condemning others who resemble them makes them a hypocrite, and they know how it is to be in a cheater’s shoes, so they defend cheaters.
When you innocently inquire about their last trip to Sephora or Home Depot, you can almost see the wheels turning in their head. Did I tell her I went to Home Depot? What did I tell her I was shopping for? Is she trying to trap me in a lie?
While they entertain these questions and possibilities, you’re on the receiving end of that strange, faraway look in a cheating spouse’s eyes. The person who always had an answer for everything now seems at a loss for words! Sometimes their answers don’t add up or match.
Phone suddenly off-limits
If they tend to leave their cell phone in the car when you’re together, Dr. Phillips says that’s a typical cheating sign to be wary of. “They could be trying to avoid receiving any questionable calls or texts in your presence,” she says. “And if you call them and they say that they didn’t answer because their phone was in the car,” take notice.
It’s also worth checking if they’ve changed their phone password or if simply borrowing their phone makes them extra defensive.
The Bottom Line
Unfortunately, anyone is capable of cheating. There’s really no way to know for sure whether or not your partner is cheating unless you actually catch them doing it. Everyone should be able to trust their partner, but if you suspect that something is up, the closest you can get to making sure is through open communication.
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