There are many contributing factors to the failing of a relationship. But perhaps one of the major culprits is unfaithfulness. If even a simple misunderstanding could ruin a relationship, how much more infidelity. This is why many consider cheating a real dealbreaker. You give in to temptations and you can kiss your idea of a happily-ever-after goodbye.
But does a marriage really have to end after an affair?
Some beg to disagree. One of them is Jay Kent-Ferraro, PhD, author of the book Surprised by Love: One Couple’s Journey from Infidelity to True Love, which he penned with his wife, Julie.
Answering the question about whether a marriage can be saved after an affair, Dr. Ferraro says yes, adding, “It is very possible if you are willing to do the work necessary to heal and redesign the relationship that’s been damaged by the affair.”
But how exactly does one restore a marriage ruined by infidelity?
It’s easier said than done. There are those who have been in a failing marriahttps://findcheating.com/save-a-marriage-after-infidelity/ge who spent some time still hoping they can have the whole thing saved but to no avail. After a mistake, it takes more than just sweet promises of “never again” to make things right.
But that does not mean it’s impossible. Just like what Dr. Ferraro said, the road to healing fully can be bumpy, but there is a definite destination, something that might even make your relationship healthier.
Here’s how you can save a marriage after infidelity.
Do These Things To Restore A Marriage Rocked by Unfaithfulness
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From being fully completely honest with your partner to setting goals for your marriage, there are ways to save a marriage after infidelity, even when you think it’s hopeless.
1. Tell the truth
There are many reasons why married people cheat. You must have a reason why you did, but whatever it was that led you there, once you’ve decided to stop playing around and tell your spouse everything, you have to do it right. It’s high time to come clean. And if you really want to redeem yourself, you gotta start by talking about what you actually did wrong, and when you do, be honest.
Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist and the author of the books Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband, said that sometimes, it’s not exactly the affair that ruins the marriage. She shared, “When I see couples divorce after an affair, it’s not usually because of the infidelity itself. The betrayed spouse simply gave up trying when their husband or wife continued to be selfish, shady, and untrustworthy.”
So practice honesty. If you have not always been the type, well, you have to do better, if you really want to restore what has been destroyed. Be an open book, that’s one of the best ways to save a marriage after infidelity. Discovering an affair and dealing with cheating and infidelity can be emotionally draining, so your spouse might ask a lot of questions as a way of making sense out of things. So when they, answer every single one of them with no lies told.
2. End the affair
After you’ve come out clean, end the affair. Cut off contact with your affair partner. If they still reach out to you, tell them upfront that you don’t want anything to do with them anymore.
To rebuild trust, you can even tell your wife or husband every time you receive an email or message from your other ex-lover. Keeping stuff like this to yourself will only create problems once your spouse finds out about it.
3. Rebuild connection with your spouse
To try to save a marriage after infidelity is like going back to zero, forming a new, better image and living up to it, recreating memories, and just starting all over again. It can be hard, but you were given another chance by your spouse, so you should take it and not waste it.
Reconnecting with your spouse emotionally and physically needs hard work, it does not just happen overnight. Start by spending more time together. Take a break from social media, if you deem it necessary. Show more intimacy. Have deep conversations more often. Just be with them and prove to them they are your significant other and will always be the only one.
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