Falling in love is such a beautiful experience. More than anything else, having someone you’re willing to sacrifice all you have for gives you the kind of happiness you never thought you would feel. But with it comes the possibility that it might come to an end and in a way that will make you regret everything you gave up for the person.
One of the worst deal breakers in a relationship is infidelity. One of you cheats and it’s all gone. And once you find out your man has been seeing another woman, you start questioning everything—the moments you shared, all the time you spent together. You start asking questions like “Am I not good enough?” or “Is there something wrong with me?”
But truth be told, sometimes, the one cheated on has nothing to do with why the cheating partner did what they did. Men, for example, stray for so many reasons. A study conducted by the General Social Survey revealed that 20 percent of married men have slept with someone outside the relationship. A big number, if we think about it. All these men may have committed the same mistake, but what drove them to cheat may not be the same.
Top 5 Reasons Men Cheat
Men cheat, and no matter how discreet they try to be, you will feel it in your guts. You will start noticing signs that he’s been lying the whole time, giving various excuses like it’s just another one of those night-outs with old friends. When you see that something’s off, you then blame yourself, which isn’t right.
Men cheat for so many reasons, and most of the time, it’s not you. Here are some of the real and most common reasons men cheat.
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1. He craves a new form of excitement
It could be that he got too bored that he thought it was time to go out and have fun. Or maybe the relationship has gone sexless and he needed something to spice things up. Or maybe your man has a lot of expectations at the beginning of the relationship, he thinks his spouse will be there to satisfy his needs 24/7, forgetting that you too are just a human being with a lot of other things to take care of.
It’s true, it happens. There comes a point where there’s just less intimacy than when you were just starting. But as a man, he has his needs, which he will continue to seek to fulfill. So when an opportunity presents itself, he takes it. This stems from their own internalized selfishness.
But it does not mean that your husband doesn’t love you anymore; he just wants attention and he got exactly what he wanted when he first went to a club and ended up taking another woman to bed.
2. He’s insecure
It’s not just women who feel insecure about themselves. Human as they are, at some point, a man will find himself looking at the mirror and feeling like he’s not handsome enough, too fat, or too thin. Or he thinks he’s just not successful enough and no longer desirable in the eyes of his partner.
All these insecurities can lead him to have that certain need for validation. So he then goes out, flirts with other people until he gets the feeling that he’s still worthwhile and good enough for someone.
3. He had a pretty rough childhood
We’ve all had painful experiences, but we differ in the way we overcome them. Some see those times as something they can learn from and then they just move on. But there are those who are not brave enough to fight the demons born out of the pain. Without them noticing it, they let these traumatic events influence the way they live their life. Maybe your husband or your boyfriend is one of the latter.
One of the reasons why men cheat is that his past has turned him into someone who’s too afraid to fully commit to a relationship, believing it’s all going to end anyway, just like everything else. It could be that he had to endure some form of abuse, and engaging in sexual activities outside the relationship is his way to self-medicate.
4. He wants to take revenge
Maybe you’ve cheated on him before and it’s his way of getting back at you. You may find it childish and stupid, but for him, causing you just as much pain is the only way he can get over it. He might not even try to hide it. If he’s been flirting with someone at some random bar, he’ll make sure you know it. He wants you to know about it.
5. He’s fallen out of love
Another one of the reasons men cheat is that he just doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He wants out, so he starts looking for someone new.
A 27-year-old man named Niall who has cheated on his girlfriends told GQ magazine that betraying them was the best way he could think of to end things. He said, “I think a lot of men do it as a way out of a bad relationship or something that’s going too fast for them. I’m not too good at confrontation and didn’t know how to bring this up, so I guess I cheated as a way of finishing things. Yes, I was a coward, but it was easier to deal with the shame of something I’d done wrong than try to explain why I wasn’t feeling it. It was kinder in a way.”
Of course, not everyone is like Niall. There are those men who don’t need to stray as a way of ending the relationship. But there’s a considerable amount of husbands and boyfriends who see infidelity as the best way to send a message to their partner that it’s over for them.
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