Lover’s quarrel is the last thing every couple would want to have to deal with. Sad to say, though, these little fights are something relationships are never without. No matter how hard you try to keep the time you spend together just loving and chill, disagreements will, at some point, come up.
As to the real reasons couples argue, the answers vary. But there are the more usual suspects.
Most Common Reasons Couples Argue
Money, sex, and priorities—here are some of the most common reasons couples argue that anyone who’s been in a relationship can relate to.
Money is the number one culprit behind arguments between married couples. Sometimes, as money is often connected to self-worth, it’s about who earns more. Other times, it’s about how the bucks are spent. One of you might want to spend more on home necessities, while the other wants to splurge on the kids’ wants.
Money matters require decision making, so it does not come as a surprise that it’s the main thing that sparks conflicts. If you’re a saver but your partner’s a spender, you can’t expect this part of the marriage to go smoothly. What’s important here, though, is you listen to what your partner has to say, why they think the money should be spent a certain way, and explain to them your side too. Because your opinions might differ, but both of you only want what’s good for the family, so both sides deserve to be heard.
It’s an issue we’re probably too shy to bring up, but a relationship that’s becoming sexless is bound to face some problems. It all boils down to your and your partner’s sexual needs. One of you may want less, while the other just wants to have more, making sex one of the reasons people in a happy relationship cheat. The differences in sex drives pose a problem too.
But according to experts, differing opinions on the level of intimacy are oftentimes a small problem that couples just end up making a big deal out of. If the couple could gather the courage to talk about it under the sheets, they can meet halfway and solve the issue right there and then.
Even before couples tie the knot, talks about kids are already there, making it one of the top reasons couples argue. You talk about whether you should have them, and if you both do, how many. And then when they’re born, you have to make even bigger decisions—something that often results in disagreements.
Giving birth to kids means giving birth to quarrels too. Couples argue over how the children should be raised. One of you tends to be the more relaxed, lenient parent, while your spouse wants to be a little tyrannical or authoritarian. There will be disagreements too when it comes to their needs and wants. However it all plays out, though, you should not forget whom this is all for: your kids. So take into consideration what they actually want, more than yours or your partner’s.
Here comes the queen of all reasons couples argue. Jealousy isn’t really a bad thing. It’s normal. If anything, it just proves that you treasure this relationship and you don’t want anyone getting in the way.
But it also cannot be denied that sometimes, we get jealous more often than necessary. We start getting more suspicious and make a big deal out of the most trivial stuff. We take little mistakes as a sign that our partner is lying even when they’re not. It’s when we let it take a toll on us that conflicts arise.
Domesticity is beautiful in all of its essence. It gives us that sense of security that anyone who wants a healthy, long-lasting relationship yearns for. For some couples, however, living under the same roof also raises questions on who is tasked to do what. House chores should be shared, but one ends up carrying most of the load.
But there’s nothing proper communication cannot resolve. So this issue, just like everything on this list, should be discussed and sorted out before it gets more complicated. While lovers’ quarrels cannot be avoided, it isn’t some kind of a wound that heals through time. Brave the heavens and confront the issues that are threatening your relationship as soon as possible, if you don’t want to lose whatever you have for good.
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