Why people cheat is a question that has a wide variety of answers. People cheat in their search for a new form of excitement. Some cheat because their partner has done the same and they want to get even. There are those who cheat as a spur-of-the-moment reaction to temptation. While some cheat because they feel emotionally detached from their partner and they need someone to talk to.
No matter the reason, though, the fact that your significant other ended up cheating behind your back is enough sign that there’s something wrong. Cheating and infidelity are indicative of a truth you fail to acknowledge—things aren’t what they used to be. It could be decreased intimacy, lost emotional connection, or the desire to communicate is gone. Whatever it is, it is clear that there’s a problem that is threatening your relationship that needs to be addressed.
While taking the time to talk about whatever’s bugging both of you is a step worth taking, it’s not always that unsettled matters are packed down after an intimate conversation, especially when one of you is hesitant to tell the truth and the other refuses to listen and forgive. If you find yourself in the same situation, seeking couples therapy isn’t so much of a cowardly choice; if anything, it could be what you need to save the union.
5 Ways Seeking Marriage Counseling After Infidelity Can Help
Marriage counseling after infidelity is not every couple’s first option. But it helps—big time. Here’s how.
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1. You get to the root of it all
The relationship problems brought about by a recent affair aren’t all there is. There is always more to it than what we choose to see. Marriage counseling after infidelity opens your eyes to these long-existing but often-neglected issues. Through a series of questions, the counselor will dig deeper into the problem and help both of you discover what exactly is going on, what exactly drove the cheating partner to do what they did.
2. You’re given a safe environment to communicate and vent out
In the presence of a counselor, both of you can freely talk about what hurt you, where you think your partner did wrong, or where you think both of you have failed. You can air your grievances without fearing that it might be taken out of context or misinterpreted. The therapist is there to make sure you hear and actually listen to what the other has to say.
3. You understand your spouse better
Marriage counseling after infidelity helps you understand your partner’s feelings or just who they are, in general. You will know where they’re coming from. You get a better understanding of each other’s needs and work on what you could do to meet these needs inside the marriage.
4. You resolve issues in a healthy manner
There are problems too complicated to resolve on your own, especially when both of you have very different takes on the matter. If you just randomly strike a conversation with your spouse and throw accusations without having a good grasp of what the real problem is, you will just end up screaming at each other, and that is seriously the last thing you want to happen if you still want to save the relationship. A marriage counselor is trained to help you resolve conflicts in a way that won’t jeopardize your marriage even further.
5. You find ways to avoid future major conflicts
Now that you understand each other better, you can come up with ways to avoid the same thing from happening ever again, and your marriage therapist will be with you as you do it. To rebuild trust in a relationship tainted by infidelity can be a long and rough process, but it’s a path worth taking.
Sometimes, as much as we want to keep the problem just between us and our partner, without having to call a friend to stand as a mediator, things just don’t work out. Seeking marriage counseling is not a pathetic move, it’s your way of acknowledging the fact that you and your partner have reached a point where you need external help. It’s a brave one, if anything, because you’re willing to take all measures just to fix things. Marriage counseling might just be what you both need, so never be afraid to seek help.
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