Cheating has no gender; both men and women are capable of engaging in infidelity. And regardless of who was caught in the act, unfaithfulness always breeds anger, insecurity, and jealousy. The gravity of pain is all the same.
But interestingly enough, scientific researches have proven that gender does play a significant role in relationships, especially when it comes to infidelity. Generally speaking, women’s definition of infidelity is more comprehensive and extensive than men, since they also consider emotional intimacy as a form of cheating. It means that women feel cheated on when their partners talk to random people online, confide their problems to anyone outside the relationship, or tell white lies, as these behaviors tarnish a man’s emotional commitment.
However, men think differently, so they tend to define infidelity rather loosely, only limiting to sexual intimacy.
According to Gulnaz Anjum, doctor of social psychology and author of Perception of Emotional and Sexual Infidelity among Married Men and Women, most men consider physical intimacy as the only factor of cheating. Therefore, for as long as there is no actual sexual intercourse, he is absolved from the sins of infidelity. For this main reason, men are more prone to unconsciously cheat on their spouses.
But aside from men’s vague understanding of what infidelity really is, there are also other underlying psychological reasons why men engage in extra-marital affairs.
Other Reasons Married Men Cheat
Men have a different psychological makeup compared to women, that’s why they differ in many ways they handle relationships. It is also because of this contrast that men wind up getting involved in a physical and romantic affair even after making a vow of monogamy.
Scroll down for the video
Understanding that you and your husband are different will actually help you handle marriage issues better. And the first step to doing that is knowing why he did it in the first place. Why did he leave? When and how did things go wrong?
Below is a list of reasons marriage men cheat to help you answer those questions:
1. He isn’t getting what he needs.
Both men and women need constant validation and emotional care. But unlike women, men have special biological and physiological needs (e.g., sex). When you do not satisfy your husband’s sexual needs, he will find someone else to fulfill it.
2. He is insecure.
Beneath the masculine physique, your husband can feel really insecure toward other men. He can also feel insecure toward you, especially when their skills are undermined. Then, he resorts to flirting or extramarital affairs to somehow feel better about himself and reassure himself that is still wanted, valuable and loved.
3. He wants to get even.
One of the reasons married men cheat is to get even at their cheating wives. Your husband might just be staying at home right now, but he is probably waiting for the most perfect time to plot his revenge on you. If you don’t want that to happen, then don’t cheat.
4. He lacks male bonding.
He is left with no one to share his frustrations with and no one to build him up whenever you are not around. Having no supportive friendships and healthy camaraderie with other male friends will not distract your husband from extra-marital temptations.
5. He wants to end the relationship.
It’s hard to explain why you fell out of love. While most men stay quiet until she eventually gets fed up and walks out of his life, others choose to cheat instead. If your husband is cheating on you, it might be his way of saying that your marriage is not fixable.
6. He had a bad formative experience.
Men who grew up in an abusive environment have a higher tendency to cheat. Their vivid traumatic experiences, such as physical or sexual abuse and neglect, leave formative wounds. If such bad events happened to your husband, this will leave him unwilling or scared to fully commit in a relationship.
7. He gets away with his cheating.
If your husband cheats on you, that’s probably because he is confident he can get away with it and leave you in the blind sight of things. Infidelity becomes his vice.
8. He confuses love with early romance.
Men always like the limerence, the chase and rush of an early romance, but they usually mistake it with love. Just because he felt a spark and clicked with the girl he met one night, doesn’t mean he already met his true soulmate. Remember that you were once young and free-spirited and had the same blissful times, but those die down with years. He does not understand that love is a choice to commit.
Whatever reason you hear from your husband, it will never pacify your pain. No reason will ever be enough to justify his unfaithfulness. However, before you decide whether to stay or leave, do consider having a peaceful talk with him.
Watch the video below