Pro-Equality vs. Pro-Family: Is Inequality in a Relationship Inevitable?

Equality isn’t a choice; it’s a right that everybody deserves and therefore should be granted regardless of social standing, race, or gender.  However, that right seems inapplicable in married life. It is as if the right disappears as soon as the marriage commences.

Should this be the case? While others say that pro-family is an unattainable concept so long as pro-equality sentiments are put forth at home, Joel Anderson, author of “Is Equality Tearing Families Apart,” says that it is a decision that no one needs to make. He says marriages that deny a husband or wife “something [equality] that is so widely held to be an essential component of a life worth living would be gravely depriving them.” As their morals deteriorate, they become less capable actors, which will only lead to a “decline of the family” and relationship.

However, equality in marriages is not a black-and-white concept; it can mean different things to various types couples.

Inequality in a Relationship and Its Effects

It’s important to know and acknowledge your flaws; this is the precursor to solving any conflicts in a relationship. Only then will you learn to be empathetic and seek self-retribution, not just for your own benefit, but for your partner’s too. Learning that you’re nurturing an unfair relationship is a hard pill to swallow, especially when you’re the one reaping all the joy in it. This has to change.

But there’s no way to resolve the problem if you don’t know exactly what you are dealing with. As your guide, let’s shed light upon the many faces of inequality in a relationship, its effects on you and your significant other, and how to fix it.

1. One person sacrifices more than the other.

Inequality in a relationship nurtures when one gets to enjoy the better things in life, while the other gets drained in household chores, worries about the utility bills, and is the one getting anxious about almost everything! Remember that relationships, particularly marriages, are a partnership, so you should also do your part.

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A healthy relationship will never require sacrifices. If anything, you will be each other’s source of encouragement to achieve better things in life.

2. One person shows all the love and affection.

Love is supposedly immeasurable, but just because it is doesn’t mean that you don’t have to worry about whether or not you’ve showered your partner enough affection. Don’t let your other half do all the grand gestures like planning dinner dates, organizing birthday surprises, or even giving random kisses on the cheek, especially when they too need more of that kind of attention.

It’s not compulsory to do the same things your other half has done, but try to level with their effort at least. If what you feel toward your partner is genuine, then showing it shouldn’t be that hard.

3. One person controls everything.

A partner who controls everything will end up controlling the relationship’s happiness. Whenever you fail to listen, dictate when to have sex, or even limit the number of your spouse’s friends, you’re fueling the inequality in a relationship. Other than that, you risk your partner to become dependent on you.

Marriage only binds two different souls; it doesn’t exactly make you one. For the rest of your life, you’re entitled to exercise your individuality, so give your partner the freedom to do so.

4. One person carries all the burden.

Partners only mean well when they take all the responsibilities in the relationship to save the other from the burden. However, that’s unfair and stressful for you and your partner, regardless of who carries all the worries.

Besides that, it’s also a form of enabling for the protected partner. It deprives them the opportunity to ascertain adult coping techniques or take part in the problem-solving. Go through all the ups and downs in building a life together, and never forget to share the load equally.

5. One person tries to please the other at all times.

If your partner constantly goes out of their way to please you, there’s probably a deeper reason behind that. Your partner might be a natural people-pleaser, but your tendencies to control your relationship might have caused your spouse to act accordingly to what you want just to satisfy you. In the later time, your partner will show signs of low self-esteem, anxiety, and insecurities, along with other issues, or worse, think that their efforts aren’t good enough.

Always be appreciative of what your partner does for you. Assure your spouse that having him or her in your life is more than enough.

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