Society has long put a leash on women’s lives, but the times they are a-changing’. Somehow, the idea of a woman in a committed relationship having physical urges she satisfies elsewhere still seems to surprise people. Our traditional stereotypes tell us that it’s often males who are cheating on the women in their lives rather than the other way around. But current research reveals that, in truth, nearly as many women cheat as men (more on this later). It’s time to dive deeper into facts about cheating women, backed up by research just in case you’re wondering.
What You Should Know About Cheating Women
Scroll down for the video
If a woman doesn’t feel like she is cared for, it just makes her that much more open to looking elsewhere. It could be as simple as needing someone to hold her hand, cuddle with her, or just listen to her talk about her day. Among women who stated that they were cheating, 57% reported feeling love for their affair partner. Yet only 27% of the men said they felt love for their mistress. This statistic concludes that cheating women are much more likely than men to be seeking an emotional bond. They may, in fact, feel such a bond even if their affair partner does not.
Loneliness and Neglect
Women may feel more like a nanny, servant, mother, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. They may use sex outside the relationship as a way to fill the emotional void. In The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women’s Infidelity, sociologist Alicia Walker found that women resented how they consistently did a disproportionate amount of the invisible labor in maintaining their lifestyle. One woman in Walker’s book said, “The inequality of it all is such an annoying factor that I am usually in a bad mood when my spouse is in my presence.” Another said that while her husband was a competent adult in the world, at home he felt like “another child to clean up after.”
Women with low self-esteem and other similar issues may seek validation through romantic and sexual activity. If someone wants them in the way they need, they feel worthwhile, wanted, needed, and lovable. Self-worth can be greatly increased by having an affair because of the mentality that this other person greatly cares about her and wants to be with her.
Lack of Sex or Intimacy
Psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman said that for women, it’s about sexual infrequency. He stated that non-cheaters were intimate approximately 10 times per month. On the contrary, cheaters were only intimate approximately 5 times per month. Sometimes, it’s not about quality and it really is about quantity. Many women in affairs actually are trying to solve a problem for themselves. Ashley Madison surveyed 100 married heterosexual women and found that “about two-thirds of the women said they were seeking more romantic passion.”
Even then, if a woman is getting enough sex, that sex may not be fulfilling her emotional desires. The simple truth is that women feel connected and valued through non-sexual interactions. Examples are gift-giving, being remembered, and talking. If these things are not happening at home, they may seek a connection elsewhere. Neuman also found that faithful women talked to their partner 30 to 60 minutes per day. On the other hand, cheaters talked to their partner for less than 5 minutes per day. The problem could have been fixed if he just sat down and had a short conversation with her daily.
Women text more than men, and they are much more likely to utilize social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.). Look at the number of women you see on a daily basis glued to their cell phones. The fact that females are more active on social media makes them more likely to find a lover or someone to engage in an online setting. Women typically post not just more often but more openly. For the most part, women are seeking online what they seek in life: emotional connection.
In Her Genes
Dr. Brendan P. Zietsch, a psychologist at the University of Queensland, Australia, has tried to determine whether some people are just more inclined toward infidelity. His study found a significant association between different variants of the vasopressin gene and infidelity in women. Vasopressin is a hormone that has powerful effects on behaviors like trust, empathy, and sexual bonding in humans and other animals. Genes, the researchers concluded, accounted for about 40% of infidelity in women.
In a 2010 study, Justin R. Garcia from Binghamton University found that subjects carrying a variant of one dopamine receptor subtype, the D4 receptor, were 50% more likely to report sexual infidelity. This D4 genetic variant has reduced binding for dopamine, implying that these individuals feel less hungry for novelty than those lacking this genetic variant.
Cheat for Revenge
In our previous post about infidelity statistics, we mentioned that serial cheaters are mostly women. When women feel betrayed, they use infidelity as a way to retaliate. Typically, women seeking revenge are not secretive about it. Illicit Encounters’ (an extramarital affair dating service) survey found that 37% of women chose to cheat as a form of revenge, compared to 31% of men. Eight out of 10 cheaters said they didn’t feel any remorse. They even told their partners about the infidelity. In fact, 54% of revenge cheaters told them so to get back at them.
A lot of women find it easier to leave a relationship by cheating so they don’t have to be the one to do the leaving. This happens especially if she already tried breaking up, but it didn’t work. Other women know they want to leave, but they are not willing to do so until they’ve got another relationship lined up. These women believe putting the work into an affair while they’re still in the other relationship saves them a bit of time. They only need to jump from one relationship into another after their partner discovers it and hopefully leaves.
More Female Cheaters Now
More women than ever are cheating or are willing to admit that they are cheating. Esther Perel’s new book, State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, notes that since 1990, the rate of unfaithful wives has increased by 40%. Shockingly, the rate among men has remained the same. The book elaborates on the concept of female infidelity as a subversion of traditional gender roles—an eerily similar perspective with Walker’s conclusion.
Watch the video below
Credits Video to Business Insider