Maybe this has happened to you before. You’re at home with your partner when they get up to go to the bathroom. You’ve noticed that they’ve left their phone but you don’t pay it any attention. Suddenly, their phone lights up, and on the screen, a message pops up. It’s from their ex, of all people! It turns out that they’ve been texting with their ex all this time.
If you’re the jealous type, you wouldn’t be too happy about what your partner has been doing. You might even accuse them of cheating, though they keep on insisting that nothing remotely physical has been happening. Even if the text messages themselves might actually be harmless or they are actually not doing anything physical, the fact that that it’s making you uncomfortable could be cause enough to worry. Sometimes, an emotional affair is just as bad or even worse than a sexual one.
It has been proven time and time again that emotional affairs can be just as destructive as physical ones. In fact, it can bring about more damage to a couple’s relationship than a sexual affair. Every couple can have different boundaries in their relationship. There are some that consider flirtation and chatting as cheating, while there are others who are in open relationships who are okay with their partners having sexual affairs as long as there is no emotional involvement. You will have to decide with your partner on the boundaries you’ll set in your relationship, but it will have to be a setup you’re both comfortable with. Whatever kind of relationship you have, an emotional affair will have a long-term effect on it. To prepare yourself, you will have to look out for the warning signs, some of which are the following.
1. Your partner is keeping information from you.
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with texting or chatting with other people, it’s something else when your partner keeps it a secret from you. Even if they’re doing so because they don’t want you to get mad, that’s still a betrayal of trust.
2. Your partner doesn’t make your relationship a priority.
If you notice that your partner seems to be spending less quality time with you and more time with their friend who they keep insisting is “just a friend,” then that’s a cause for concern. If they’re talking with that person all the time and they seem to be putting more effort into their “friendship” with them than their relationship with you, then you might want to have a talk with them.
3. Your intuition tells you that something’s wrong.
Our intuition is our unconscious mind’s way of picking up signals that the conscious part of our brain would otherwise ignore. Sometimes our brain detects signals that we don’t consciously pick up or think about. All we get is an unsettling feeling that tells that something is wrong in the relationship. If that has been happening to you far too often, it might be time to take a pause and pay attention to what your guts have been telling you.